we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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