im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
