I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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