I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
