better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
