I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
