I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
