I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize