sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize