I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
