That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
