dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
