I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
