Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
