Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
