so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
