His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize