if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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