Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
