I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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