you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
