why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
