porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
