Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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