so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
