what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
