Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
