I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
