Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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