I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
