Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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