but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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