Don't you send me to vm
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
