Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
