My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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