Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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