She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize