We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I think people are normalizing furries
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
