we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
