Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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