At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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