stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
MIDGETS
????
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
