Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
