also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
