I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
The air taste purple.
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