Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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