I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
