i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize