I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You are the jesus of drinking
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
