We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
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