Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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