I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
