I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize