YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
