I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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