I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
