Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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