He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
