can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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