i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
