my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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