like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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