Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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