They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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