What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize