we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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