I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
