took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
