What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Randomize
