The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
