Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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