3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
God, I missed his penis.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
